Religion in the News

Jesus Restores Right Hand in Philippines

by Elroy Willis

PHILIPPINES (EAP) -- A 31-year-old Christian man who at age 22 chopped off his own right hand because of a Bible verse has shown signs of growing a new right hand after taking experimental gene therapy in a secluded Philippine clinic, according to several local news sources.

After two months of injections into the stump of his right hand, it appears that the wrist and finger bones are beginning to slowly grow back.

"This is a real breakthrough," says Dr. Huang Lo Shinto, who's been experimenting with extracted genes from several species of newts and lizards which can re-grow their severed tails and limbs.

"If this type of gene therapy can help amputees regrow their severed limbs, it will be a real breakthrough in science, and will benefit all of mankind," Shinto says.

"I can feel my fingers and hand bones growing and tingling," says Timothy Ringstobs, father of a new baby girl, who claims that his prayers have been answered in more ways than one, and that his new hand and finger bones are a miracle from Jesus.

"I gave my life to Jesus when I was 21, and while reading the scriptures one day, I saw a passage about Jesus telling people to chop off their hand if it causes them sin or troubles, so that's what I did. I had a compulsive urge to grab my rod/staff and stroke it which ended up with me spilling my seed, so I knew something was wrong with me," Ringstobs said.

"I tried holding my staff and spilling my seed with my left hand, but it just didn't feel the same to me, so I decided to chop off my right hand because that was the hand that was giving me the most pleasure and guilt at the same time. I was in a real quandary and was very confused and emotional."

"Trying to chop off my right hand with the axe in my left hand was very awkward. It was like trying to write something with a pen in my left hand when I'm naturally right-handed. I hacked and chopped way more than I would have if I'd been trying to chop off my left hand with an axe in my right hand."

"When the pain got too unbearable for me, I went out into the garage and used my circular saw to completely sever and cut off my right hand which was at that point hanging on by only a few tendons and pieces of bone which I couldn't cut through with the axe in my left hand."

"One of my neighbors came running over because he heard the saw going and heard me screaming `Oh My God, it's finally gone,' and he thought I might have hurt myself with one of my power tools."

"He called 911 on his cell phone after seeing me with my hand cut off and bleeding on my garage floor, and tried as best as he could to stop the bleeding until the ambulance got there."

"While I was in the emergency room getting sewn up, I met my current wife who was there because she had plucked out her left eye with a salad fork and she was bleeding almost as bad as I was."

"I can barely see you over there, but I feel some kind of connection between us," she said to me.

"As we were both lying there on our gurneys, she looked over at me and told me that she was addicted to winking at men she found sexually attractive with her left eye, and that after a while, her left eye seemed to have a `mind of its own,' and that it had gotten her into all kinds of trouble over the past few years."

"I couldn't control it, and that's why I plucked it out, just like Jesus told people to do," she said.

"It looked to me like she was winking at me with her right eye at the time, so I felt safe in knowing she was on the right side or hand of God, just like me and Jesus."

"After I heard her whole story, I realized it was a match made in Heaven. She's now the first love of my life after God and Jesus. We got married three months later and I no longer have my earlier stroking problem. We have a beautiful new three-month-old baby girl that I want to be able to hold and feel with both hands."

"Thanks to the work of Dr. Shinto and the love of Jesus, my prayers are actually coming true," Ringstobs said.

Dr. Shinto says that the small stubs appearing on the end of the severed right hand are a good sign, but also says that Mr. Ringstobs and his wife shouldn't get their hopes up too high at this stage of development.

"I don't know exactly what the hand or fingers will look like if they grow back all the way. They might resemble the fingers of a newt, or they might be normal human fingers, I can't be sure," he said.

"I understand the potential problems and dangers and am willing to take the risks," Ringstobs told local reporters when asked why he decided to undergo such an unproven and potentially dangerous experimental procedure.

When asked for her comments, Mrs. Ringstobs said that she fully supports her husband and Dr. Shinto's experiments and research.

"I was afraid our new baby girl might be born without a right hand because my husband had chopped his right hand off, but Dr. Shinto cleared up that evolutionary faux pas in my mind, and I now trust him with my husband's life and also with his new right hand, whatever it turns out to look like," she said.

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