Religion in the News

Big Bob is Dead

by Elroy Willis

SHREVEPORT (EAP) -- A local preacher known as "Big Bob" to his congregation and friends died yesterday of heart failure in a Shreveport hospital. He weighed over 600 lbs when his heart finally gave out and the Lord called him home.

Bob Baker, 55, was known for his ability to speak with God and fight with the devil. His followers were encouraged to bring him food so he could have more energy to speak with God and wrestle Satan.

"I used to bring Pastor Bob pork chops every Thursday. They were his favorite food, and he said God was happy that I brought them to him, and that I would get a special place in Heaven," said Louise Ingram, follower of Big Bob for over 10 years.

"Thursdays will be different from now on," Ingram said.

"I feel lost and don't know who to cook my pork chops for anymore since both my husband and Pastor Bob are now both dead. I just hope it wasn't my juicy pork chops that killed them both," she said. "My husband was also a big man like Pastor Bob, and he loved my cooking."

"I used to give $1 out of my weekly $5 allowance to Pastor Bob," said 10-year-old Timmy White. "He told me that God had a special plan for me, and that my $1 would help him talk to God and reveal the plan to me if I prayed and believed hard enough."

"He told me that he used the $1 I gave him each week to buy a package of Twinkies on Tuesdays, which gave him really good energy to fight the devil."

Baker was credited with making it rain after a recent 51-day drought, when his followers were asked to bring him buckets of fried chicken. He said that with enough fried chicken he could talk God into making it rain.

"It took over 180 buckets of chicken, but Big Bob came through for us just like we knew he would," said Wilma Davis, who says Baker was especially fond of her fried chicken and potato pancakes.

Baker never ate meat on Friday, and requested his followers to bring him garden salads and fruits because it would make God happy.

"He really liked tomotoes and salsa," said Wilma Livingston, who also brought Big Bob guacamole on Fridays.

On Mondays, Big Bob preached a day of fasting, and told his followers to bring him glasses of ice water during the summer, and hot cocoa during the winter.

"We really miss our beloved Pastor," said Joel Robinson, best friend and companion of Big Bob. "I think maybe I'll take his place to give our congregation some hope for the future."

"I've always been fond of pork chops, so I think it's a good idea, and I know it'll make the widow Ingram happy," he said.

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